Hologram hearts

Somewhere in 2013, I made a mistake that hurt someone I love. I'm not sure how it all went horribly wrong, or how I could have prevented it from turning out the way that it did. All I know is a deep regret; and it was then that I learnt the depth of the feeling I am sorry.

Now it is 2017, and I am 4 years older but probably not that much wiser. Some nights I feel like I'm on the verge of making a similar mistake. There is no way of knowing the consequences of your actions. It could lead to a beautiful outcome or a repeat of the mistake of your younger years. Is the glimpse of the possibility of happy ever after worth the immense risk?

What I keep in my heart but have not told you... I'm sorry for everything that I've done.

friday the 13th

2017 is here. I've been watching The legend of the blue sea. Lee Min Ho!!! (oh, my heart)

Since my last post, I've completed my third solo trip which was to China! Chengdu (such cute pandas munching on bamboo and rolling around), Jiuzhaigou (where snow fell and made it magical - one of my most memorable trips) and Beijing (where I discovered apple vinegar). Feeling nostalgic now and like I should plan my forth solo trip! What is it about solo trips that are so addictive?

At the moment, I am 27 and (still) living at home and really wish that I would move out to live what I consider "a real adult life" soon. I am engaged to be married and I have discovered the new love of my life, Lego!! I played it all the time as a kid, and fell in love again. My latest build, which started tonight, is the Assembly Square.

Hehe.. I am 27 going on 7...

P.S. can't believe when I started this blog I was 19!

A golden galaxy

Wow is this place still alive? Hello nightswim, it's been two years. How are you doing? I'm okay. The coolest thing that's happened to me recently has been getting my fabulous new phone which I'm using now, and little much else. Oh, also that I've completed my second ever solo trip which was to Europe.   The first solo trip, which this blog has also missed, was to Korea.

Not much but a lot has changed since the last post. I am a full fledged doctor now, and I read my previous posts which I wrote when I was an enthusiastic medical student with some nostalgia. Finally my dream has come to fruition, I get to help people with their problems every day now, and get paid to do it. Not all of my dreams have come true. Some got lost in the years gone by and my life has taken an unplanned path. I don't know if it's good or bad.

I miss writing. I write very little now. My language has certainly taken a ....how d'ya say it? Toll for the worst? Turn for the worst? You see, it's taken a toll and not a turn but it's for the worst, and I was unable to string it nicely into a structurally correct sentence, so you see what I mean.
[edit: I mean "worse" not "worst". Arrrghh my engrish!! Heh.]

you only need the light when it's burning low

Have been away a long time and when I opened this page I saw a series of depressing posts....is it cuz I just come here when I'm feeling low? Or is it that I have had an unhappy stretch in my life? Well, here's another one.

I'm at a low point in my life. Career wise,  family wise, friends wise, relationship wise....even body image wise. Is this what the pre middle age years look like? This paunch and flab that persist as a result of laziness and lack of motivation. Even the difficulty in putting any effort into wearing clothes that require ironing and my appearance. How do I snap out of this?!

What are friends truly? How is it that the trust built over years of friendship can be so friable  and intangible? When did support turn into judgement and when did I start having to filter my words around my friends? When did I stop being able to confide in them? The people that I believed would be there for me to the end, those I assumed knew me best of all, do I really know them? Do they really have my best interests at heart?

Let it go

It's the best weather to go running now when it's cloudy grey skies out. It would be great to clear my mind and blow off the stress of the past few weeks. Unfortunately I'm not recovered from the flu and run the risk of viral myocarditis...maybe tomorrow.

On a brighter note, I managed to watch an artsy film today 'Before sunrise'. Have the two sequels in store :) also, my long-awaited leave is next week!! And going to watch Frozen tonight!

So it's over

I guess I never really thought it would really truly end. Not when we argued. Not when we broke up. Not when you told me you went on a date. Not when I went out with someone else. Not that I thought it would work out, but it was really hard to imagine that it would end. But when I heard you say those words.....

Post call

Have been in bed the whole day after a most tiring night.