The Countdown: 11 days

I've been spoilt with homecooked food this weekend.

Sat:
Lunch- Mom cooked chicken rice!! Dinner- Laksa from Toastbox (which I've been craving)+ 2 cups of yuanyang + cake

Sun:
Lunch- Mom cooked nasi lemak (This was not entirely a success as the ricecooker broke down halfway and the rice only almost done, simmering in coconut milk and pandan leaves, had to be microwaved. :S) Tea- mushroom cheese eggtart + coffee. Dinner (will be)- Ginseng chicken soup + curry leaves cereal prawns

Yummmmm (:

In need of benzodiazepine/ evening melatonin/ sunshine

And now we pass and just like glass I see through you, you see through me like I'm not there

I am feeling awful. Just awful ):
Bloated, nauseous, headache and hard to breathe.

This reminds me of
x,
and i feel. even. more. awful.

Dementia

I just cried while webcasting sheeeeeeesh. (Luckily I didn't go to school haha.) The lecturer showed a video of a cute old lady with dementia who got lost after buying a packet of chicken rice for her granddaughter. She reminds me of my own grandma, because she went out specially to buy lunch for her granddaughter, and was so worried that her granddaughter would starve while she was lost.

His yoke is easy

Recently, I've developed a liking for orange foods, orange chocolates in particular- Marks and Spencer's orange truffle chocolate, orange chocolate thins from a relative, Honey orange mocha from Starbucks...... But also orange drinks, particularly Ichiban's Moonbeam drink/ variations with orange cubes. Yum.

Today I grieved for a boy whom I did not know but followed his case for six weeks from his parents' pretty detailed updates about his condition. He was the boy I wanted to donate my platelets to, but chickened out, though the need for them never arose. He presented with an unremitting high fever and was diagnosed with a very rare type of lymphoma that required foreign doctors expert in this area to fly to Singapore to take a look at him. He then underwent a bone marrow transplant from an unnamed donor which was successful but subsequently he acquired an EBV infection and spent many days in the PICU where he was sedated on and off. His organs started to fail, causing large amounts of blood to be passed in his urine and gut, affecting his BP and thus he needed multiple daily blood transfusions. He also had lung infection, clotting problems, and finally his consciousness was affected and he succumbed to septicaemia. He was a really cute boy (from the picture that his parents posted) with beautiful large almond-shaped eyes and a lovely face shape. His parents wrote, 'We love him, but we know Jesus loves him more.' Throughout this impossible journey, their faith in God's goodness was unceasing. From their entries it is clear that their strength these six weeks has come from having an total trust in His love.

It makes me wonder how I will cope when such a patient is in my care in the future, and if I will be able to cope with such loss.

Jesus take the wheel

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel

Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder

Symptoms: Stable sleep schedule that is substantially later than the conventional or desired time. Patients with DSPD have sleep onset insomnia and extreme difficulty arising when they attempt to conform to a conventional daytime schedule

Etiology and affected groups: May arise from longer-than-average circadian period, reduced exposure to light during morning hours. DSPD is most common during adolescence and may be self-reinforced

People with this disorder are called "Night owls". I am one :S

There's a fine, fine line

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

I don't want to live on the moon