Tonight I found out an enormous piece of news.. Like impact factor 5 sort of information. It literally caused my jaw to drop and palpitations. I guess it doesn't change anything. But all my life, in all my 22 years I never knew. With the limited knowledge that I had, the younger me, at different ages, had always either 1) dramatized it so that I had a visual understanding, or 2) looked at it through rose-tinted glasses, making excuses and imagining various scenarios with the hope that the truth was the most ideal one, or 3) just wondered and wondered asking why why WHY??
I have more insight now, and the truth is disappointing and ugly and painful. But the hope that I have subconsciously held since I was a little girl is surprisingly not quelched.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Weekend woes
Really can't sleep now, having spent my entire day in bed with cramps. My day went like this: wake up - shower - go out for lunch with babes - eat yummylicious homebaked s'mores :) - rush home to do psy writeup - cramps - take meds and decide to sleep for two hours - woke up before two hours is up by the pain - sat on toilet bowl for an unproductive half hour - felt like dying and debated taking more meds though it wasn't time for more..arguments in my head about another different NSAID or more panadols etc - was desperate to the extent that thoughts of calling prof to ask what I should do appeared in my head but it was Sunday so - decided on the panadols and prayed ++ - did the deep breathing we learnt in psy - managed to sleep for two hours - woke up (8pm!!!) - ate porridge couldn't finish - ate three strawberry mochis from T :) - shower - recorded voice clip for playhouse audition - tried to do writeup and discovered the amount of detail I had to know about the patient goodness tomorrow I will have to go ask him all those intimate questions that even lovers may not know about each other - 1 am gave up - and here I am. Tomorrow will be a better day.
P.s. I do realize that the paragraph is a crazy mix of past and present tense.. Hehe too lazy to edit!
P.s. I do realize that the paragraph is a crazy mix of past and present tense.. Hehe too lazy to edit!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
While waiting
Oh nooo.. Instead of studying for my eye+ent+patho test on Friday, or submitting my paper to WJS, or sleeping early so I won't be late for church tomorrow, I spent the last 45 mins making my Japan album. And blogging now while waiting for the photos to be uploaded. :/ promise to be more hardworking tmrw. Like my sis, who has spent hours today sprawled over her anatomy text and atlas.
Feeling quite sleepy but only 34/120 photos have been uploaded.
Now, what should I talk about on my own blog?
My glittery pink nail polish on my toes are coming off.... When I had them done with my friends who chose yellow, blue-green, peachy pink, I didn't really like mine. But as time passed I got used to them and now I think they are really nice! I need to buy stockings and black pumps cuz I'm tired of wearing my white crocs!
A long time ago when I was a lower M, I used to look at the upper Ms in awe and respect and curiosity.. Thinking wow they look so wise and full of knowledge. Or that they looked so tired on some days and so worn out. Haha well now I'm an upper M (at last) and when I look at the juniors I think about how I was once there... And certainly I'm sure they must think we look old and tired, for our eyebags are starting to look like permanent allergic shiners. But for all the face masks used I'm glad to have come to where we are, our observational skills slightly sharper, our clinical thinking a tad more organized and refined. Also a bit more mature, no longer thinking that research is super boring, more excited about some stuff and less about others. With different goals too. Then I had thought I wanted to be a pediatrician/neonatologist haha.
There is an ulcer in my mouth. About one to two weeks now. Put bonjela yesterday and today but it hasn't worked wonders like it usually does.
10 more photos to go. Sleepy!!
Feeling quite sleepy but only 34/120 photos have been uploaded.
Now, what should I talk about on my own blog?
My glittery pink nail polish on my toes are coming off.... When I had them done with my friends who chose yellow, blue-green, peachy pink, I didn't really like mine. But as time passed I got used to them and now I think they are really nice! I need to buy stockings and black pumps cuz I'm tired of wearing my white crocs!
A long time ago when I was a lower M, I used to look at the upper Ms in awe and respect and curiosity.. Thinking wow they look so wise and full of knowledge. Or that they looked so tired on some days and so worn out. Haha well now I'm an upper M (at last) and when I look at the juniors I think about how I was once there... And certainly I'm sure they must think we look old and tired, for our eyebags are starting to look like permanent allergic shiners. But for all the face masks used I'm glad to have come to where we are, our observational skills slightly sharper, our clinical thinking a tad more organized and refined. Also a bit more mature, no longer thinking that research is super boring, more excited about some stuff and less about others. With different goals too. Then I had thought I wanted to be a pediatrician/neonatologist haha.
There is an ulcer in my mouth. About one to two weeks now. Put bonjela yesterday and today but it hasn't worked wonders like it usually does.
10 more photos to go. Sleepy!!
Friday, September 9, 2011
Japan (food)
Been eating mainly from Jap restaurants since I came back from Japan! Miss the food there.. the lovely katsu, unagi sushi, scallop sushi, tempura sauce, pumpkin tempura, snow crab sushi, ramen, ratatouille bread..... YUMMY!!
I wanna go for another conference. Of course, it's not about the food alone. Just that this post is dedicated to the most palatable Japanese cuisine (:
I wanna go for another conference. Of course, it's not about the food alone. Just that this post is dedicated to the most palatable Japanese cuisine (:
Saturday, September 3, 2011
A prayer
Dearest Lord,
I leave this matter in your capable hands. Please guide my words and choices every step of the way and protect me from anyone with ill intent. You are always by my side, empowering me with your love. With you in my heart, I know I never have to fear. Please always let me see your will clearly and give me the wisdom and courage to follow it.
Love,
Me
I leave this matter in your capable hands. Please guide my words and choices every step of the way and protect me from anyone with ill intent. You are always by my side, empowering me with your love. With you in my heart, I know I never have to fear. Please always let me see your will clearly and give me the wisdom and courage to follow it.
Love,
Me
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