you only need the light when it's burning low

Have been away a long time and when I opened this page I saw a series of depressing posts....is it cuz I just come here when I'm feeling low? Or is it that I have had an unhappy stretch in my life? Well, here's another one.

I'm at a low point in my life. Career wise,  family wise, friends wise, relationship wise....even body image wise. Is this what the pre middle age years look like? This paunch and flab that persist as a result of laziness and lack of motivation. Even the difficulty in putting any effort into wearing clothes that require ironing and my appearance. How do I snap out of this?!

What are friends truly? How is it that the trust built over years of friendship can be so friable  and intangible? When did support turn into judgement and when did I start having to filter my words around my friends? When did I stop being able to confide in them? The people that I believed would be there for me to the end, those I assumed knew me best of all, do I really know them? Do they really have my best interests at heart?