So relieved that my con said the abstract draft that I wrote is decent.
I feel very wound up inside....because I've been trying to put a lid on my emotions, modifying what I want to say so that what is expressed is acceptable, restraining my actions.. :( I just need to find a release or separate myself somehow.
Tomorrow the M4 exam prep begins Lord please guide me every step of the way
Friday, December 23, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Bedtime
I feel exhausted....eyes are tired, left shoulder is pain, head is ache, mildly sob it's like I can't take a big enough breath. Would love it if my room were pitch black as a hospital call room, or a comfortable warm sleepy night-light lighting..rather than think dark dark shade of grey with the all-too-familiar outlines of my furniture and the slit of light next to my door.
But the hols are here :))) think I need more lie-ins, nua at home time and some exercise.
But the hols are here :))) think I need more lie-ins, nua at home time and some exercise.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Sealie
Dear old friend,
I had a dream about you last night..I didnt wanna wake up in the morning. Maybe it was inspired by jay chou's new song ni hao ma. Which is what I really want to know....how have you been over the years? And how are you doing abroad now? You must be having the time of your life now- this had always been your dream.
You look the same as ever. The same cheeky cute smile, red face, weird faces and bright eyes.
Do you remember? The good times that we had, and the bad. Now that all these years have passed, could we be friends again? Will we ever be friends again? Does this ever happen to you like it happens to me....on my bed on a random night the night before a test thinking about the past, and though we have moved many miles and memories and mistakes on, feeling a hole where you used to be....
I know it's a one in a millionth chance that you'd be reading this..but by the chance of that impossible odds you are, please take care, don't drink excessively, and even though I'm far too chicken to make the first move, I never stop holding out for the one day that we may possibly be friends again.
I had a dream about you last night..I didnt wanna wake up in the morning. Maybe it was inspired by jay chou's new song ni hao ma. Which is what I really want to know....how have you been over the years? And how are you doing abroad now? You must be having the time of your life now- this had always been your dream.
You look the same as ever. The same cheeky cute smile, red face, weird faces and bright eyes.
Do you remember? The good times that we had, and the bad. Now that all these years have passed, could we be friends again? Will we ever be friends again? Does this ever happen to you like it happens to me....on my bed on a random night the night before a test thinking about the past, and though we have moved many miles and memories and mistakes on, feeling a hole where you used to be....
I know it's a one in a millionth chance that you'd be reading this..but by the chance of that impossible odds you are, please take care, don't drink excessively, and even though I'm far too chicken to make the first move, I never stop holding out for the one day that we may possibly be friends again.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
About guys and stuff
Today I met a guy who inspired this post. I may be pretty ambitious and feministic at times... And more than once, when I talk about how I feel that girls can be as good or even better than guys at a job and we shouldn't give up our dreams just cuz we wanna get married and have kids etc and the guys give me this look like woah you are not a normal girl kinda look.
Oh I digressed..anyway about this post. There are some guys who make you feel so pleasantly surprised by their gentlemanly, gentle (gentle not effeminate), and a sort of taking care of you manner (in a totally non-patronizing way that also doesn't make you feel like they are doing it cuz they think you are weak). Also, not in a way that makes you feel that he is interested in you or trying to impress you. More like they have been brought up to treat girls this way or it is just in their nature to do so. It's more than just opening doors and letting the girl go first etc....it's all these Plus. The Plus is the part that made me feel comfortable and pleasantly surprised..maybe more of a personality trait I guess.
I know there doesn't seem to be a connection between the two paragraphs haha. Well I suppose what I'm trying to say is although I feel what I feel (in the first paragraph), probably all girls like to be treated this way (as in the second paragraph) and I'm no different.
Anyway. Today was the first anesthesia OT posting. I love the NUH OT change room!!!! It brings to mind the word ERGONOMICS, a word the anesthetist used many times today. The room is large and tiered with lots of lockers and baju and shoes are on the lower floor, and when you go up a flight of maybe 7 steps you get to the floor with the toilets and showers. Also the placement of the OT baju at one end and the shoe cabinets at the OT end and the laundry bins is great. And the room is well lit with large mirrors and platforms that serve as seats to wear your shoes/put your stuff/sit around etc and the sinks and paper towels part is sort of like Ion's. I really like the layout and design of the place :) think the other doctors and nurses love it too early in the morning everyone was changing wherever they liked some in front of their lockers and it was really peaceful cuz you don't get in each others way there's plenty of space to do your own thing and many areas for privacy. I think it's really important and starts your day well cuz in the morning everyone's there so it can get quite crowded and ergonomics is important!
Of course the OT part was good as well really learnt a lot today. Today was one of the days when I'm reminded how much I really enjoy med school. Like you learn about how the patient's tongue flops back when he is unconscious and you really have to help him prevent aspiration... But you never fully get it until you are there and he falls asleep on propofol and you are failing to intubate cuz his enormous tongue is flopping everywhere. And how tired your hands are from pressing the mask firmly to his face and pulling his chin up. Everything that you learn becomes real and alive. And the OT is a really nice place. I think it's my favourite place in the hospital. When I first knew it it was foreign and a bit scary but now we feel really at home there. Haha this deserves another post on its own really. But the short of it is that fun things happen there and patients get repaired.. You get to see really cool things like uterus didelphys and feel tumours... It is clean and cool unlike the wards that can be quite stuffy. And there is a whole symphony of activity from anaes prep to op to reversal and such coordination, precision and teamwork. And you can wear old faded scrubs which are the most comfy clothes. The pantry has free OT lunch and has a nice communal feel. There is even Milo and sugar and others stocked in bottles to make your own drink. When I tell my mom these things especially the medical parts she goes a bit green and says "I can't imagine why you and meimei would want to do these things". Haha I guess fun and enjoyment is subjective.
Long weekend time to sleep!! Have watched 3 episodes of the channel 8 9 o'clock show (the lead actress is so pretty and the lead actor is quite cute) and this week's episode of grey's. :) :)
Oh I digressed..anyway about this post. There are some guys who make you feel so pleasantly surprised by their gentlemanly, gentle (gentle not effeminate), and a sort of taking care of you manner (in a totally non-patronizing way that also doesn't make you feel like they are doing it cuz they think you are weak). Also, not in a way that makes you feel that he is interested in you or trying to impress you. More like they have been brought up to treat girls this way or it is just in their nature to do so. It's more than just opening doors and letting the girl go first etc....it's all these Plus. The Plus is the part that made me feel comfortable and pleasantly surprised..maybe more of a personality trait I guess.
I know there doesn't seem to be a connection between the two paragraphs haha. Well I suppose what I'm trying to say is although I feel what I feel (in the first paragraph), probably all girls like to be treated this way (as in the second paragraph) and I'm no different.
Anyway. Today was the first anesthesia OT posting. I love the NUH OT change room!!!! It brings to mind the word ERGONOMICS, a word the anesthetist used many times today. The room is large and tiered with lots of lockers and baju and shoes are on the lower floor, and when you go up a flight of maybe 7 steps you get to the floor with the toilets and showers. Also the placement of the OT baju at one end and the shoe cabinets at the OT end and the laundry bins is great. And the room is well lit with large mirrors and platforms that serve as seats to wear your shoes/put your stuff/sit around etc and the sinks and paper towels part is sort of like Ion's. I really like the layout and design of the place :) think the other doctors and nurses love it too early in the morning everyone was changing wherever they liked some in front of their lockers and it was really peaceful cuz you don't get in each others way there's plenty of space to do your own thing and many areas for privacy. I think it's really important and starts your day well cuz in the morning everyone's there so it can get quite crowded and ergonomics is important!
Of course the OT part was good as well really learnt a lot today. Today was one of the days when I'm reminded how much I really enjoy med school. Like you learn about how the patient's tongue flops back when he is unconscious and you really have to help him prevent aspiration... But you never fully get it until you are there and he falls asleep on propofol and you are failing to intubate cuz his enormous tongue is flopping everywhere. And how tired your hands are from pressing the mask firmly to his face and pulling his chin up. Everything that you learn becomes real and alive. And the OT is a really nice place. I think it's my favourite place in the hospital. When I first knew it it was foreign and a bit scary but now we feel really at home there. Haha this deserves another post on its own really. But the short of it is that fun things happen there and patients get repaired.. You get to see really cool things like uterus didelphys and feel tumours... It is clean and cool unlike the wards that can be quite stuffy. And there is a whole symphony of activity from anaes prep to op to reversal and such coordination, precision and teamwork. And you can wear old faded scrubs which are the most comfy clothes. The pantry has free OT lunch and has a nice communal feel. There is even Milo and sugar and others stocked in bottles to make your own drink. When I tell my mom these things especially the medical parts she goes a bit green and says "I can't imagine why you and meimei would want to do these things". Haha I guess fun and enjoyment is subjective.
Long weekend time to sleep!! Have watched 3 episodes of the channel 8 9 o'clock show (the lead actress is so pretty and the lead actor is quite cute) and this week's episode of grey's. :) :)
Monday, October 24, 2011
Unexpressed
...... ....zzzzz !!!!!!! - ---- --- & @@@@@ ____________________________!!
????????????????????????????????
*** :):):):):):) (;(;(;(; :(:/:/ :( ....? "......." ||
~~~~~~~~~~ ~ <3 + # & hsiwjeyaosmdkjshhwjko!!!!!!!
18
??????????:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:|:|
6+++++oooooooooooooooooo!!
???:(
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
????????????????????????????????
*** :):):):):):) (;(;(;(; :(:/:/ :( ....? "......." ||
~~~~~~~~~~ ~ <3 + # & hsiwjeyaosmdkjshhwjko!!!!!!!
18
??????????:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:|:|
6+++++oooooooooooooooooo!!
???:(
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Where my heart is
Oh noo I can't sleep..have been in bed for almost 3 hours. This is gonna lead to me oversleeping and being late for church tomorrow and losing $2 to J darnnnn. Considered taking piriton or atarax but then I won't be functional tmrw.
This is bad. I gotta stop taking afternoon naps..
This is bad. I gotta stop taking afternoon naps..
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