About guys and stuff

Today I met a guy who inspired this post. I may be pretty ambitious and feministic at times... And more than once, when I talk about how I feel that girls can be as good or even better than guys at a job and we shouldn't give up our dreams just cuz we wanna get married and have kids etc and the guys give me this look like woah you are not a normal girl kinda look.

Oh I digressed..anyway about this post. There are some guys who make you feel so pleasantly surprised by their gentlemanly, gentle (gentle not effeminate), and a sort of taking care of you manner (in a totally non-patronizing way that also doesn't make you feel like they are doing it cuz they think you are weak). Also, not in a way that makes you feel that he is interested in you or trying to impress you. More like they have been brought up to treat girls this way or it is just in their nature to do so. It's more than just opening doors and letting the girl go first etc....it's all these Plus. The Plus is the part that made me feel comfortable and pleasantly surprised..maybe more of a personality trait I guess.

I know there doesn't seem to be a connection between the two paragraphs haha. Well I suppose what I'm trying to say is although I feel what I feel (in the first paragraph), probably all girls like to be treated this way (as in the second paragraph) and I'm no different.

Anyway. Today was the first anesthesia OT posting. I love the NUH OT change room!!!! It brings to mind the word ERGONOMICS, a word the anesthetist used many times today. The room is large and tiered with lots of lockers and baju and shoes are on the lower floor, and when you go up a flight of maybe 7 steps you get to the floor with the toilets and showers. Also the placement of the OT baju at one end and the shoe cabinets at the OT end and the laundry bins is great. And the room is well lit with large mirrors and platforms that serve as seats to wear your shoes/put your stuff/sit around etc and the sinks and paper towels part is sort of like Ion's. I really like the layout and design of the place :) think the other doctors and nurses love it too early in the morning everyone was changing wherever they liked some in front of their lockers and it was really peaceful cuz you don't get in each others way there's plenty of space to do your own thing and many areas for privacy. I think it's really important and starts your day well cuz in the morning everyone's there so it can get quite crowded and ergonomics is important!

Of course the OT part was good as well really learnt a lot today. Today was one of the days when I'm reminded how much I really enjoy med school. Like you learn about how the patient's tongue flops back when he is unconscious and you really have to help him prevent aspiration... But you never fully get it until you are there and he falls asleep on propofol and you are failing to intubate cuz his enormous tongue is flopping everywhere. And how tired your hands are from pressing the mask firmly to his face and pulling his chin up. Everything that you learn becomes real and alive. And the OT is a really nice place. I think it's my favourite place in the hospital. When I first knew it it was foreign and a bit scary but now we feel really at home there. Haha this deserves another post on its own really. But the short of it is that fun things happen there and patients get repaired.. You get to see really cool things like uterus didelphys and feel tumours... It is clean and cool unlike the wards that can be quite stuffy. And there is a whole symphony of activity from anaes prep to op to reversal and such coordination, precision and teamwork. And you can wear old faded scrubs which are the most comfy clothes. The pantry has free OT lunch and has a nice communal feel. There is even Milo and sugar and others stocked in bottles to make your own drink. When I tell my mom these things especially the medical parts she goes a bit green and says "I can't imagine why you and meimei would want to do these things". Haha I guess fun and enjoyment is subjective.

Long weekend time to sleep!! Have watched 3 episodes of the channel 8 9 o'clock show (the lead actress is so pretty and the lead actor is quite cute) and this week's episode of grey's. :) :)

Unexpressed

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~~~~~~~~~~ ~ <3 + # & hsiwjeyaosmdkjshhwjko!!!!!!!
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6+++++oooooooooooooooooo!!
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mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Where my heart is

Oh noo I can't sleep..have been in bed for almost 3 hours. This is gonna lead to me oversleeping and being late for church tomorrow and losing $2 to J darnnnn. Considered taking piriton or atarax but then I won't be functional tmrw.

This is bad. I gotta stop taking afternoon naps..

OMG

OMGGGGG. I just killed a tiny lizard. With boiling water. My anxiety level is ++++++++. Shit I feel evil causing its probably painful death. But at the same time so relieved. And still scared with anxiety super +++

Psy

Never thought I'd be saying this..but 830 am days are the best. 830 am (plus the new circle line) means to me, even if I sleep at 1 am, I still get 5 and a half hours of sleep, which is great! :)

Crap better get to sleep just remembered all the stuff I was supposed to study for weds

The day I discovered x

Tonight I found out an enormous piece of news.. Like impact factor 5 sort of information. It literally caused my jaw to drop and palpitations. I guess it doesn't change anything. But all my life, in all my 22 years I never knew. With the limited knowledge that I had, the younger me, at different ages, had always either 1) dramatized it so that I had a visual understanding, or 2) looked at it through rose-tinted glasses, making excuses and imagining various scenarios with the hope that the truth was the most ideal one, or 3) just wondered and wondered asking why why WHY??

I have more insight now, and the truth is disappointing and ugly and painful. But the hope that I have subconsciously held since I was a little girl is surprisingly not quelched.

Weekend woes

Really can't sleep now, having spent my entire day in bed with cramps. My day went like this: wake up - shower - go out for lunch with babes - eat yummylicious homebaked s'mores :) - rush home to do psy writeup - cramps - take meds and decide to sleep for two hours - woke up before two hours is up by the pain - sat on toilet bowl for an unproductive half hour - felt like dying and debated taking more meds though it wasn't time for more..arguments in my head about another different NSAID or more panadols etc - was desperate to the extent that thoughts of calling prof to ask what I should do appeared in my head but it was Sunday so - decided on the panadols and prayed ++ - did the deep breathing we learnt in psy - managed to sleep for two hours - woke up (8pm!!!) - ate porridge couldn't finish - ate three strawberry mochis from T :) - shower - recorded voice clip for playhouse audition - tried to do writeup and discovered the amount of detail I had to know about the patient goodness tomorrow I will have to go ask him all those intimate questions that even lovers may not know about each other - 1 am gave up - and here I am. Tomorrow will be a better day.

P.s. I do realize that the paragraph is a crazy mix of past and present tense.. Hehe too lazy to edit!